I was, without a doubt, truly blessed the day I met Charlene Stillman Gates. That was almost 70 years ago, when we had just entered 7th grade in September of 1954. We quickly became fast friends because she was so easy to get to know – and it wasn’t long before we spent many after school hours and/or weekends together at her house or mine. While in Junior High we compared our grades to see who got the most “A”s (though they used “E”s rather than A’s). Sometimes it was her, other times it was me – but we were always happy for one another. In the summer, you could often find us at the big public pool at Centinela Park. We loved that place!
In high school, Char was an outstanding athlete – and I was sadly lacking in that area. But she would still choose me to be on her team whenever she could. And on Fridays, you would find us at “the rec” (recreation center) on Friday nights where our high school dances were held – often to the music of live bands! We grew together from young girls to young women – and as we grew and matured, we shared all our problems and insecurities – both small and large.
We mostly lost touch as we married and raised our families – but in 2002, when we were 60! – we re-connected – and it was like that lost time evaporated. It didn’t take us all that long to cover those “lost” years.
When my husband and I moved from California to Missouri in 2004, she and I started communicating by email. And often! It wasn’t long before we were writing in the morning and again in the evening. And our husbands also became good friends – with great mutual respect. And we got together every year when my hubby and I would come to California to visit family…..because Charlene and Kenny were also family.
It’s not everyone who has the great fortune to have the kind of friend with whom they can share pretty much everything that is important to them – good, bad or indifferent – without fear of being judged. Sometimes, just spending time with your best friend is all the therapy you need. We enjoyed that kind of friendship.
I know she is in a much better place now and I’m truly happy she is no longer suffering, but her departure from this earth has left a void in my life that can never truly be filled. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”